Forgiveness-are there two types?

Are there different types of forgiveness? Why is this an important question to ask?

To to answer the second question first, it is an important question because it seems forgiveness is promoted strongly in scripture. Forgiveness expresses the heart of the gospel as an essential part of reconciliation between us and God. Forgiveness is also promoted between believers, and even to people in general. The lack of forgiveness, especially over past hurts where reconciliation is often impossible, can cause a wide range of negative emotional and rational responses.

Some people like to limit forgiveness to only those whom repent of a sin, yet, from experience is this a valid response? What about those who you no longer have contact with whether through them passing away or simply they or you have moved and you just have no contact. Also, how healthy is it to seek reconciliation with someone when they are likely to get aggressive with you and maybe in some cases hurt you again, emotionally or physically? Is there another type of forgiveness that is Biblically valid, if not, are we stuck with hurt until someone repents?

In these situations is it a good idea also to hold on to the hurt you had? If we are to only forgive those who repent, what do we do with the hurt we have experienced? Would it be right to refuse to forgive someone if they never repented or sought reconciliation? Would it even be emotionally healthy to do so?

From personal experience, from counselling training and listening to others, the answer to this would be a resounding no, it is not healthy nor a good idea to hold onto the hurt. This is why it is so important to ask the question.

So looking at scripture, is there forgiveness without repentance?

Let's start by looking at the Lord's prayer- it states in Matthew 6:12 (NIV) 'forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors'. Following this Jesus talks of forgiving others and how important it is, even saying that God will not forgive our sins if we do not. There is no talk at this point of if the person has said sorry or repented.

Further to this, when Jesus healed the paralytic in Matthew 9, before this he said to him that his sins were forgiven. The man came for healing and there is no indication of specific repentance at that point, yet Jesus forgave him.

Thirdly, on the cross, Jesus said 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do' (Luke 23:34 NKJV). The very people that were putting him on the cross, he asked that the Father would forgive them.

Here we have three examples of forgiveness being given and commanded yet without any condition of repentance being mentioned.

Further to this the Bible also commands us to get rid of bitterness. It challenges bitterness in Ephesians 4:31; Colossians 3:19; Hebrews 12:15; James 3:14. While jealousy can be a cause of bitterness, so can unforgiveness. Relying on the argument of 'they didn't repent' is therefore not a good enough reason to refuse to forgive. If you are bitter, hurting, angry, insecure etc. because of someone hurting you, forgiveness is key, regardless of if they repented, to receiving Christ's life given grace for healing in your life.

Back to the opening question: there are different types of forgiveness but that is more to do with the context of the forgiveness. One type of forgiveness includes seeking reconciliation and restoration of relationship, while the other is a form of letting go of the debt regardless of repentance in order to allow the healing power of Christ to work on your heart and help you to grow. We are encouraged in scripture to forgive both directly but also indirectly through things like getting rid of bitterness.

Therefore, whether through reconciliation or just letting go, forgiveness is God's way of helping us to move away from the hurt and empower us for more faithful, joyful living in Christ. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.