Parenting on God and Race

I live in a very 'white' area. Not so long ago when my children went for a walk, a dark skinned family walked past in the other direction. My children acted as children do, in complete honesty and with little thought regarding appropriate responses, and stared wide eyed and mouthed as they walked past in what became a rather awkward moment.

Thankfully, for me, I wasnt there.

I had hurt my foot and was unable to spend much time walking so my lovely wife had taken the kids out for a stroll. While I found the situation funny, I did also think about it more seriously in how do I, as parent, engage with these differences when we are dramatically un-exposed to different cultures and 'races'. What follows are just some thoughts on this, as a parent and as a Christian, on how I have engaged with this so far. I have generally found drawing on things from different perspectives helpful.

Let me start by saying though that I try to avoid using terms like 'black' and 'white' as I believe it creates division. I do not refer to my children as 'white' and when I talk about darker people I do not refer to them as black. I literally refer to people as having darker or lighter skin. I also do not refer to people as being different races.

Secondly, I draw from science, in reference to skin colour I just refer to melanin. People are primarily darker or lighter depending on the level of melanin in their skin. I explain that when our skins tans a little in the sun, its the same stuff that makes people darker skinned.

When it comes to things like nose sizes, I talk about warmer climates and actually how clever it is that God creates us differently so that we can do better in different places (referring to increased body heat management).

I also talk about the beauty of variety. I said to our eldest that when she draws a picture, does she always draw the same picture or different ones each time? She loves variety, and I explain that so does God.

I think the other main thing I do is refer to people in movies, cartoons and books that she is familiar with.

All of this I know has helped, mostly my oldest, be put at ease with people's differences. We talk about how clever God is in how he had made people differently. We talk about how much God loves variety and ultimately, we talk about how much God loves everyone. So regardless of how we feel, or if people seem different, God loves them.

I have felt that this general approach helps to cover a wide range of issues. I have begun doing it in regards to disabilities as, as children do, my kids often point and say things (often too loudly) like 'why does that person have tiny arms' or 'why is that person in a wheelchair' (usually about 2 feet away from the person in question!). I find that gently engaging with their natural curiosity allows great opportunities to teach them basic biblical truths. This not only empowers us to help engage with our children, it also empowers them to engage with the world around them even when they are not that familiar with things. I feel confident that my eldest, who has engaged the most with this issue, will be much better now when she comes across people she finds different to herself, whether a different colour, a different country or different physical abilities.

I draw especially from charities. Myself and my wife support Compassion and Tearfund and can draw from these charities' materials to help our children understand and engage with other cultures, backgrounds and things like skin colours especially as they currently have very little exposure, alongside poverty retaed issues. We can show the pictures and talk about the people behind the faces.

My hope and prayer is that by doing this, I am empowering them to be able to engage with people, God and life more for now and prepare them for the future as best I can.